Why do we feel nervous when we approach people? Overcoming shyness is beneficial for people dealing with panic attacks, anxiety and fear.
There are 5 areas that we have to understand and look at for overcoming shyness.
Overcoming Shyness Area n.1: Status Anxiety
This is the biggest cause and reason why so many of us feel shy. This is also a book by Alain de Botton.
You have to understand that the anxiety you have is caused because you are living in the past or in the future. In essence you are not living in the present moment. The anxiety is the anticipation. This the first reason why so many people feel shy; because they are waiting for something to happen that never takes place.
The solution to overcoming shyness is to move into your body, absorb yourself into the present moment, start taking deep breaths, feel the air invade your body and be thankful. Status anxiety is where we equate what we do with who we are.
You have to let go of who you think you are to become who you really are. That is how to overcome shyness. You have to let go of any identity of yourself. As long as you identify with the identity society has given you, you can never be free.
Overcoming Shyness Area n.2: Perception
How you see yourself. Belief. The perception you have of yourself is greater than the perception other people have of you. Once you can change your mind, you change your world.
Many people don’t see themselves in a positive light. You have to change that, you have to see yourself in a high regard. To overcome shyness you have to become your greatest fan.
Overcoming Shyness Ares n.3: Self Love
If you feel nervous when you approach a woman or when you approach a man, this is because you don’t feel worthy, you don’t feel you deserve to be in their presence. And it shows in your actions and in your behavior. To get around this, you have to change the words you say to yourself when you have this inner dialog.
I am not good becomes I am good enough. The words are vibrations. The words are the commands that govern every action. Once you have self love within yourself, it overflows to everyone you meet. To start attracting love and respect, you must stop searching for love and respect and start cultivating it within yourself.
This boosts your confidence, which is all about trusting yourself. Therefore you can talk to anyone and you can feel comfortable.
Overcoming Shyness Area n.4: Love Your Body
Overcoming shyness requires you to embrace your body a 100%. It doesn’t matter if you are fat or thin. Your body is your vehicle, it is your temple. Therefore you have to love every single cell within your body. You have to understand that if you are unhappy about your body, it shows in every interaction you have.
Even if you feel that your body could be changed to help you become the greatest version of yourself, what you have to do is see that your body is in progress. It’s already been done through your actions and through your will.
You must never see your body as a burden because this is the biggest reason why so many people feel shy. Because they feel inadequate. They don’t feel good enough. Over 90% of communication is nonverbal, therefore your body never lies.
Overcoming Shyness Area n.5: Comfort Zone
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Push yourself past your boundaries; it will free you. Tell yourself to do something you think you can’t. Set yourself a personal challenge. Place a bet.
Many people have those so-called “surface relationships”. That is where they are afraid of any intimacy. The more intimate you become with yourself, the more intimate you can become with other people. This in turn reduces your fear and helps you overcome shyness.
Many people are shy in relationships because they want something, so they approach someone because they want to get something out of them. When you don’t want anything, when you want to give instead of just taking for yourself, you don’t feel shy because you can’t be rejected.
Another big reason why so many people feel shy is because of the fear of rejection. Overcoming shyness doesn’t happen overnight. It takes dedication in setting yourself a personal challenge every day to move out of your comfort zone.