Good communication requires good listening, but good listening isn’t easy. No doubt you’ve been on the receiving end of a poor listener before. Have you ever poured out your heart to a friend, only to have her completely misunderstand you? Can you recall conversing with someone who only used the time that you were speaking to plan what he was going to say next? Have you ever felt like talking to your partner is like talking to a brick wall?

It’s hard to talk to people who don’t listen well, but to be honest, we’re all guilty of poor listening at times. This is a problem because poor listeners are more likely to end up in conflict. They are also less able to de-escalate a situation and more likely to feel undervalued in relationships.

Often, bad listeners are not even aware that they’re bad, in part because our communication habits are deeply ingrained in us from our childhood. Our habits are a mishmash absorbed from our own personalities, the people we are around, the conflict we witnessed and the ways of communicating we became habituated to. This makes it difficult to identify a bad habit and even harder to break one.

Eight Practices to Make You a Good Listener

It is possible, however, to make a few simple changes to your communication style. If you want to be a good listener and improve your conversations and relationships, you’ll need to intentionally adapt the way you interact with others.

1. Use “Peak Listening”

“Peak Listening,” according to Bob Sullivan and Hugh Thompson’s The Plateau Effect: Getting from Stuck to Success, occurs when you have broken through your own defenses and can listen to someone under the assumption that they’re right. Often, poor listeners are quick to feel threatened by a speaker’s tone, words or attitude, and they become eager to defend themselves. Unfortunately, defensiveness stops a conversation from progressing, and both parties leave feeling frustrated and unheard. To achieve “peak listening,” you will have to ignore your feelings of being under attack, even if you are, and engage the other person with the intention that you will find some point on which you can agree. Not only can this technique be disarming to someone who is angry or hurt, but it ensures your own response is based on what the other person said rather than how you felt about it.

2. Don’t Think About Your Response While Listening

One bad listening habit that most people struggle with is planning what they will say while the other person is still talking. Thinking about how you will respond rather than concentrating on the other person’s words is a big problem. It trains your focus on your own thoughts and feelings rather than on the speaker’s. It might make you excellent at speaking your mind, but all the other person will hear in your response is what you missed.

Are you thinking about your next story? Or planning how to phrase your advice? Remind yourself that you’ll have plenty of time to respond once the other person finishes. You can even make space in your conversation for you to collect your thoughts by explaining to the speaker, “I want to think about what you just said before I respond.” This ensures you are giving enough consideration to your answer while assuring your friend that you are being thoughtful rather than zoning out.

3. Ignore Distractions

Distractions can come upon you without warning, and it is often those impromptu distractions that shift your intentional focus away from the speaker. Some people can be distracted by the way a person looks or speaks. Others struggle with distractions in the form of their cell phone going off or a notification scrolling by. Anytime you, as a listener, break eye contact to check your phone, you have just made yourself seem disinterested in the person talking.

If this is something you struggle with, plan to silence or put away your phone to have a conversation. And if something about the speaker is distracting you, focus instead on something neutral so you can continue to hear their words rather than your own inner commentary. Giving the other person your full attention is the basis for any productive and meaningful interaction.

4. “Listen” Nonverbally

As speakers, we naturally look for signs that our listeners are paying attention. Someone whose attention starts to wander or who begins fidgeting or who sits with arms crossed is sending clear signals of disinterest or disagreement. Be sure that these signals are not coming from you. Being a good listener with your nonverbal means making eye contact when necessary, having open body language with head, feet and torso pointed toward the other person and maintaining careful, neutral expressions.

Don’t roll your eyes, cross your arms, turn your head, pull up your nose or smirk while you listen. This negative behavior will make you seem judgmental, condescending or disinterested. If you catch yourself giving a negative nonverbal cue, counteract it with a positive one. Smile, nod your head, open your hands or lean forward. Maintaining your physical interest will also help you stay mentally engaged with the speaker.

5. A Good Listener Asks Clarifying Questions

Sometimes people have difficulty expressing themselves correctly. Other times we do lose focus on what is being said and may not remember well. It’s important to ask questions to clarify what was meant in these cases. The following are examples of good clarifying questions.

“When you said ___, I didn’t understand. Can you explain what you meant?”

“You said ___. Can you provide a specific example?”

“Will you repeat the part about ___ for me?”

Questions like these give the speaker a chance to address the gaps in their own communication while assuring them you want to understand their perspective.

6. Paraphrase What The Other Person Tells You

Repeating what the other person says is another great technique for avoiding misunderstandings. Similar to asking clarifying questions, paraphrasing is more focused on what was said rather than on what you didn’t understand. Sometimes, a person can be saying one thing while you are hearing something completely different. So if you fail to clarify what you hear, you risk a major miscommunication. Paraphrasing is an especially good practice in close relationships or in those that are prone to conflict. Examples include the following.

“I heard you say ___. Is that what you meant?”

“I just want to be sure I understood you. You think that ___.”

“So what you’re saying is ___. Did I understand that correctly?”

7. Be Interested In The Other Person – Don’t Fake It

A good listener believes that others are worthy of their time. If you don’t actually believe this, even your best attempt at good listening will be betrayed by something involuntary. For example, a glance at the clock or an impatient eye roll. If you don’t feel interested in the speaker, find something about them that you like and focus on that. This will help you stay truly engaged as a listener instead of as someone who is faking it.

8. Do Not Judge – Keep An Open Mind

Being a good listener requires keeping an open mind. Now, having an open mind does not mean that you automatically agree with what the other person is saying. However, it does mean that you are willing to listen to everything they are saying and to consider the issue from their point of view.

A lot of times, we are unwilling to fully hear the other person out because we are afraid that they will perceive our listening as an endorsement of their behavior or response. The problem with this viewpoint is that unless a person feels heard or understood, they are not likely to listen to any advice or correction. When we start with an open mind and a determination to understand, even if we don’t agree with how someone might feel such a way, we are more likely to listen better. Judgment is the last thing we want to feel.

The above list is not comprehensive, but it can serve as a good beginning for improving anyone’s listening skills. You’ll need to start with an open mind and a willingness to fully understand another person’s perspective. This mindset will be a strong foundation for you to build on as you add other good listening behaviors into your communication skill set. Chances are, you’ll need to be very intentional about breaking poor listening habits as you work to establish good ones.

References & Further Reading

To become a better listener, make sure to read the following reference materials that inspired me to write this article:

• The excellent 3-part “Listen Up!” series on ArtofManliness.com: Part I, Part II, Part III
• 5 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener by Gretchen Rubin
• Farnam Street first introduced me to The Plateau Effect book via its Peak Listening article

There are some simple principles that make great relationships. In fact, we can name five important ones right now.

Communication

Appreciation

Passion

Trust

Fun

All we go through in life determines who we are today. Once you can express yourself freely, without a filter and just let go 100% by losing yourself with the one you love, this makes a world of difference.

So, if you are in a relationship right now, think about the five principles mentioned above and ask yourself: “Is my relationship based on communication, appreciation, passion, trust and fun?“.

With those five principles in mind, you can now apply the 9 utterly charming secrets of happy couples. Enjoy the video below.

How many of these 9 secrets do you apply daily in your love relationship? Does one of these secrets resonate more with you than the others? What kind of results do you see? What other things you do to maintain or create happiness with your love partner? Let me know in the comments below.

If a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist is doubtful about the potential for a good conversation, the rest of us is screwed, right? I mean, it’s crazy how difficult it is to hold a genuine conversation. On top of that, it’s really easy to stress out if the thoughts that you are having are really important.

What if there will be an awkward silence? What if you say something stupid?

I compiled a list of 101 questions that will help you break the ice in any type of circumstance and with any type of person. Are you ready to start talking?

1. What is something you hate but you wished you loved?

2. Where do you go and what do you do to wind down/relax?

3. If you were in a band, what kind of music would you play?

4. What TV show do you most identify with?

5. What is your favorite season of the year?

6. If a movie was made about your life, what actor/actress would play you?

7. If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be?

8. If you woke up tomorrow as an animal, what animal would you choose to be?

9. If you could live anywhere on this planet, and take anything that you love with you, where would you choose to live?

10. Are you where you thought you’d be at this point in your life?

11. What is your most valuable skill?

12. What do you think about the organic food movement?

13. What do you think is the best age to get married?

14. If you had to pick an image to represent each member of your family, what would you pick?

15. What did you dream about last night?

16. Do you mind if I stay by your side?

17. What is your favorite chewing gum flavor?

18. What is your dream job?

19. What was the first thing you bought with your first paycheck?

20. What is one thing you wish you had known at 21?

21. What is one thing you thought existed but it actually doesn’t?

22. What is something you’ve always wanted, but couldn’t have due to social stigmas?

23. How’s life?

24. What is the best pizza place you have ever been to?

25. What song do you secretly like but won’t admit it elsewhere?

26. What’s the earliest memory you have of your life?

27. What is the one thing you can’t do, no matter how hard you try?

28. What is one thing that you would risk your life for?

29. What was the single, best realization you have ever had?

30. What are your three biggest life goals right now?

31. Your hair looks beautiful. How is it like to be extremely good looking?

32. I’m genuinely interested. What’s one song you will never skip on your playlist?

33. If you were guaranteed the correct answer to one question, what would you ask?

34. What product do you think the world could go on without?

35. If one animal was made the size of an elephant, which would be the scariest?

36. What is your most interesting hobby?

37. What is one thing you do to get motivated?

38. What is the worst song lyric you have ever heard?

39. Why are you burned out from your job?

40. What was your favorite toy as a child?

41. What are questions that you don’t like to answer?

42. What are you scared of?

43. What was your most irrational fear as a child?

44. What is something you get wrong almost every time you do it?

45. What is something beautiful you see every day?

46. What things do you do every day that you wish were automated?

47. What smells make you happy?

48. Where is the weirdest place you have seen someone you know?

49. What is your favorite word in the English language?

50. What is the social event you hate the most?

51. What is the best thing that you have done, just because you were told you can’t?

52. What is an obscure food that you have eaten that most people never tried?

53. If you could visit any fictional town, what would it be?

54. When did you realize people had accepted you as an adult?

55. What is the craziest thing you’ve seen somebody do at  the workplace?

56. What is your current desktop wallpaper?

57. What is the most cliché thing you have done in your life?

58. What is the word you absolutely hate people for using?

59. Give me your deepest, most profound quote you just made up.

60. Do you “genuinely” think you are attractive?

61. What is the most laid back job you have ever had?

62. When is the last time you cried?

63. What is your “I shouldn’t be here today” story?

64. What is the most famous person you have ever met?

65. What is your “happy” song?

66. Do you have something that you find strangely relaxing?

67. What short phrases should be on candy hearts but aren’t?

68. What made you smile today?

69. What is your “go-to” joke?

70. What is the worst thing your mom caught you doing as a kid?

71. What simple changes have made your life better?

72. Which cartoons have made you cry?

73. What incredibly common thing in life terrifies you?

74. If you had the opportunity to spend a year in another country, where would you go?

75. What would you do if you had a working time machine?

76. What are your three biggest life goals right now?

77. What do you think is the ultimate waste of your money?

78. What would you do if you had no money?

79. What is your favorite three-word sentence?

80. What is the funniest movie you have ever seen?

81. What is one thing you don’t understand about yourself?

82. What is something you just have to do every day?

83. What is something new you learned this week?

84. What impresses you most about kids these days?

85. What was your first kiss like?

86. What is a movie moment that completely transformed you?

87. What “impossible coincidence” stories do you know?

88. What is legal that you think should be illegal?

89. If you had to live a week without internet, what will you do to keep yourself busy?

90. What do you think is the best feeling in the world?

91. What is the worst advice you have ever been given?

92. What was your turning point to a more active life?

93. What is your best piece of advice?

94. What do you consider to be the highlight of your life?

95. What is the happiest you have ever been?

96. What is something that you seriously take for granted?

97. What is your favorite drink?

98. What is your worst experience in a foreign country?

99. What would you do if you could do anything for 8 hours a day for the rest of your life, assuming money were no object?

100. What is the biggest waste of time in your life?

101. What is the biggest change you want to make in your life?

How can you handle people that feel offended? We all have our own personal beliefs, and when they are challenged and questioned a lot of people may feel offended. Every opinion has an opposite.

You have to know that what you are doing makes sense. Sometimes you may offend someone and you don’t even know it. But remember, you can’t please everyone.

How do you deal with this? Don’t take it personally. What other people are experiencing is a reflection of their own experience not yours. You are not their problems, but many times people feel that you are the cause of their problems and they come after you.

To stop worrying you have to trust yourself 100%. Not worrying is when you have an unconditional love towards yourself. Not caring what other people think is the greatest form of self love.

Related: How To Respect Yourself

But when people feel offended, when they do take it personally you have to see the bigger picture. It’s all about using discernment which is seeing where people are coming from, putting yourself in their shoes.

It is wonderful that we all have different beliefs and opinions. That’s what makes the world go round.

You need this friction to really get the full experience of life. Sometimes people love you one day then they hate you the next day. But the only thing that matters is how you see yourself.

It’s all about resonance and frequency. Not everyone is going to be attracted to what you say, but that’s ok.

Allow people to talk about how they see it, but just keep it moving.

Do what you have to do and never change for anybody.

Why am I single? Reason n.1: Something is missing

Something is missing within your life. It isn’t about anybody else. It is about the relationship you have with yourself. Sexual energy is the energy which permeates everything in existence. In essence, sexual energy is creative energy.

If you are wondering where your beloved it is, if you are wondering why you haven’t met the dream woman or the dream man, don’t worry because your time will come. So many people want a quick fix, but the greatest relationship you can have is with yourself.

You have to embrace yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love anybody else. Once you accept yourself 100%, your flaws, your gifts and your talents, then you begin to accept other people’s flaws, gifts and talents because nobody is perfect.

Why am I single? Reason n.2: No one is perfect

Perfectionism is a cuss. You have to accept that there is no dream person. It doesn’t exist. You have to take on board the good, the bad and the ugly. Many people who are still single have a checklist.

Ultimately we are all looking for our reflection. We are looking for the other part of ourselves, which is on a deeper level our highest self. Once you tap into your highest self, the marriage takes place within yourself. The union of the body and the mind. True marriage is within yourself and then when you meet someone else, the two wholes become complete.

You can’t be fragmented. You can’t be half looking for another half because then there are two incomplete halves.

Why am I single? Reason n.3: Timing

If you are still single, remember that there are times, seasons and cycles within your life. It may not be tomorrow that you may find your partner. When you accept the circle of life, you have to let go of expectations, you have to let go of the calendar.

Many people live in a society of instant gratification. Love doesn’t work like that. Meeting someone else takes a tremendous amount of time in terms of developing a deeper intimacy with someone. To do that, you have to completely surrender to yourself.

The more you tap into who you are, the more you become whole, the more you will attract people to you. And you will also attract your reflection.

We attract what we are. What we send out is what we attract. Sometimes you need time to find yourself. You need time to discover your true authentic being.

Many people who are single right now, are single because they are focusing their energy on developing their clarity and inner balance. When they do meet that person, they know instantly because they’ve done the inner work.

Why am I single? Reason n.4: You don’t own anybody

Once you work on yourself, don’t search for someone else. You don’t have to search. You have to let go of that sense of urgency, of panic and anxiety that you are going to lose something.

You can only lose what doesn’t belong to you

You do not own anybody. You have to allow other people to become themselves. In many of our relationships we feel that people belong to us and this is why a lot of relationships don’t last; because everything is about ownership and possession.

When we talk about being single, it can also be a fun experience. If you are single, do not worry, do not be anxious; because the more anxious you are, the more you deviate from your true authentic self.

Would you rather someone love you for who you are not or for who you are?
You should rather someone hate you for who you are than love you for who you are not.

When you let go of the search, everything manifests. Clear your senses and when you see your reflection then you’ll know.

Related: 5 Powerful Ways Women Can Use To Become More Attractive
Related: How To Be More Attractive To Women

When we talk of being single, it’s a choice. It is not a negative thing, it is not a positive thing. It is whatever you want it to be, whatever you make it. But don’t feel down, don’t feel that you are missing out, because this is all your choice.

You can’t force love.

Why am I single? Reason n.5: Lack of interest

How many of us have time for ourselves? If you don’t have time for yourself, how do you expect to have time for someone else?

A relationship is not a joke, it requires water and sunlight just like a plant does. Constant watering is needed. But many people are not prepared to invest that amount of energy in a relationship.

A lack of interest may also emanate from past relationships. Many people bring old energy into new relationships. Many people see new relationships with old eyes. A lack of interest is where people say, “I don’t need anyone. I’m fine all by myself”.

In our society we praise being independent, we praise being self sufficient. Why you may be single can emanate from a belief system which says, “You, you and you is all you need”.

Why am I single? Reason n.6: You enjoy being single

Of course relationships are filled with love but at the same time some people experience relationships that are solely built on possession.

The best relationship is where you can hold the space and encourage someone to become their greatest version without trying to change who they are.

Why am I single? Reason n.7: You are not ready

You are not ready to give up the kind of freedom that being single offers you.

When you are single you start to think of love more than ever and you start to realize how beautiful it is to have the love connection in full effect.

Being single is not negative. In fact it can be the most uplifting experience in the world because you prepare yourself to meet your reflection. And this takes time because to have it all you have to be it all.

Many people have a personal checklist and because of that they begin to miss out on certain opportunities and encounters because they think too much of the perfect mate. But nobody is perfect.

When you get in a relationship, you don’t have to focus on what isn’t working. The advantage of a great relationship is where two people see the power of  focusing on what is working.

A lot of people fail to see that in relationships there are two energies merging together. And because of that, you have to become very clear that is not your job to start changing people, it is not your job to start making people anything other of what they truly are. It is only your job to hold the space and to realize that you choose to be in that relationship.

Once you can both give each other that freedom, the relationship blossoms to the most wonderful thing in the world.

The secret to long lasting relationships is not about what you can take from the other person but it’s about what you can give, what you can share and how you can assist this person in becoming their greatest version.

Once you have inner balance, once you know thyself, you automatically become more attractive. You can’t make someone be attracted to you.

First of all you have to be their type. At the same time you can become your own attraction. Once you become a master of your craft, you find the one you love by doing what you love.

Women love seeing men with passion

Once you are following your true calling, this is super attractive. Why? Because you are loving yourself a 100%. You are in self-care. Not only are you taking care of your physical appearance because looks do matter, but at the same time you are reconnecting back to your true authenticity. That is extremely attractive to women.

Why every woman loves a bad boy?

Why do we hear the talk of women loving bad boys? It’s because anybody who is prepared to jump from a plane is attractive. Why so? Because if you are going to jump off a plane, then imagine what you would for me in a relationship.

Taking risks is universally attractive. That is why a lot of women gravitate to the so-called “bad boy”; because they are breaking rules.

At school they don’t want to listen. They are alpha males, they create their own rules. They are the protectors. They trust themselves, they have confidence and this is extremely attractive.

Becoming your own attraction begins when you are focused on your higher calling that drives you and wakes you up every single day. This way you become a magnet of attraction. You become inspirational.

When you feel sorry for yourself and you don’t like yourself, then you lose your sex appeal. You become less attractive because if you are not comfortable with yourself, how can any woman be comfortable with you?

Be a giver. That is another easy way to be more attractive to women. The giver is the one who not only pays for meals, but the giver is when a man embraces his masculine energy a 100% and begins to embody the principle of openness.

Many men say that they cannot find anybody and that they are nervous in approaching women. The giver is that classical archetype of the guy who just starts speaking to women freely, not because he wants anything but because he’s going to share information about how to raise their consciousness levels, whether it’s about food, sports or music. It’s always something they can grow and learn from.

When you become the giver, it’s not just about giving to one woman, it’s about giving to your community. Once you start giving to your community and helping the planet evolve, you become even more attractive because once again you are showing that you are able to move out of your comfort zone.

Many men have been conditioned to hide their emotions. If you can’t open up, you can’t expect people around you to open up. Expressing your emotions is how to be more more attractive to women.

How does attraction begin?

It is not only through looks. When you feel negatively towards women, this is going to affect how you interact with them. Loosen up and smile more.

Whenever you have a high ideal, you become more attractive. When you don’t just see a woman as a sex object but also as mother of humanity, that is how to be more attractive.

Many men are afraid to approach; and confidence is essential. Confidence is also in the body language.

If your head is bowed down to the ground, you express no confidence and become less appealing because it shows that you don’t trust yourself.

Once you walk with confidence, automatically you become more attractive.

Lastly it’s all about communication. Being a good communicator is universally attractive.

Many times women tell that the man they are with doesn’t listen to them. To be a good communicator, you have to become a better listener.

Communicating is about diving deep and creating a greater chemistry with the woman you are with.

How do you really become more attractive?

1. Become your own attraction

   Instead of searching for love, start cultivating the love within yourself. And the only way to do this is to start becoming your own attraction. It doesn’t matter if a man finds you attractive or not. You have to find yourself so attractive and loveable first. You have to be comfortable in your own presence because that cultivates self-care.

   Additionally, this is the most attractive thing in a woman. This identifies a woman who is connected to her true authenticity, who is not trying to impress a man, but is in love with the core of who she is; and because of this she has this inner radiance and outer beauty.

   Naturally she becomes more attractive

2. Embrace your femininity

   Men love seeing women who are deeply connected to the feminine principle. And it’s rare in this day and age because what’s happening is that men are moving out of the masculine principle and women are moving out of the feminine principle. This is not good or bad. It is the science of the time because we are living in a new world and that’s why everything is being reset. Our whole perception of relationships and how these energies interplay with each other is changing every single second.

   But a woman who is connected to her feminine essence is much more attractive because the feminine principle is yielding, it surrenders, it is passive, but it is powerful. The most attractive thing is the warmth of a woman and that’s where women can find such a great power.
   The more you aren’t in a resistance to your feminine energy, the more it will actually work for you. You develop that intuition. Intuition is your inner oracle.

   You have to let go, and there is nothing more attractive than seeing a woman who has totally let go. From a man’s point of view he is in awe, he is captivated by your divine beauty.

3. Be open and express yourself

   As a woman you’ve been told that you don’t want to smile because it may give off the wrong impression. But the more you connect to your true authenticity the more power you have, because now you are not suppressing your emotions.

   The reason why smiling is so attractive is because whenever you smile, your eyes are sparkling. Smiling makes your eyes glow and the eyes are the windows to the soul. Love at first sight usually happens when a smile is involved.

4. Listen

   When women listen, this is when they become even more attractive to men. By listening you are not trying to change the other person, plus you are accepting them for who they are. Many times a lot of men say that their partner doesn’t understand them, they need someone to talk to.

   The greatest thing that creates a more loving relationship is communication. Communication is not only speaking and yelling but it’s also listening. That’s so attractive because it is connected to the feminine principle.

   This is all a personal choice. There are certain men you don’t want to listen to and that’s ok. But being free to listen is super attractive because it shows the man that you care about what he’s talking about. And if you genuinely do care that’s how you become incredibly attractive.

5. Become a warrior queen

   This is all about the synthesis of using the feminine principle and the masculine principle together. In essence the woman is letting go of duality. This another powerful way to become more attractive. A warrior queen is a woman who is not just focused on her beauty to catch a man’s attention, but she also uses her amazing intelligence. Men love to learn from women.

   The warrior queen is the one who is not afraid to dive deep, to talk about crystals, esoteric information; women who are helping to raise the vibration of the planet. This is one of the most attractive qualities a woman can have because they balance both energies equally. It is extremely powerful, and the woman becomes irresistible.

Be yourself. Become your own attraction. Ask yourself, do you appreciate how you look? Do you appreciate how you feel? Do you accept and love yourself a 100%? What you will find is that the more you do, the more you become more attractive.

They have one apartment for their job, one apartment for seeing, one apartment for hearing, one apartment for eating, one apartment for their car, one apartment for their partner, one huge apartment for sex, an other apartment for sports, a little studio apartment for their feelings.

The trick though is that men can only be in one apartment at a time and this very different from women’s brains. Women’s brains are completely connected. Their job is connected to their car, to their money, to how they feel about themselves, to their girl friends, to their relationship, etc.

Women’s connection center, the corpus callosum which is right in between the right and left hemisphere, is up to 20% bigger than men’s.

Women’s emotional area and their sexual area are super connected, so often in a relationship women will know how they feel about a man, much sooner than a man will know how he feels about a woman. That’s because the area that controls a man’s sex drive is entirely on the opposite side of his brain from where his emotions are. And a man’s sexual area is huge compared to the emotional area.

This is one of the most influential aspect of how men fall in love.

When a man meets a woman, typically he is in the sexual area of his brain. Which is a good thing. This means that he is attracted to that woman. Men do not marry women that they are not sexually attracted to.

But there is one word that allows a man to fall in love with a woman, because oftentimes when he goes out with a woman there is some sexual energy and he wonders if he’s going to get some action.

So if you are woman, the word that allows him to fall in love with you is “NO”. By saying no, you are not going to sleep with him, you are not going to give it up until he signs your “contract”.

But what is your contract?

Your contract is what is required to be with you before you will sleep with him. What do you need in this relationship mentally and emotionally before you will sleep with him?

If you don’t give up, then he will come to the conclusion that if wants to hang out with you again he will not get any action. And the only reason he will hang out with you again is because he likes you and he has an emotional connection with you.

At that moment he will move out of his sexual apartment all the way to his emotional apartment and will start asking himself questions like, “Do I feel like a man around her? Do I want to be with her? Do I have what it takes to make her happy?”

By saying “no”, you make sure that he understands what your contract is. Stating your want is also one of the sexiest things a woman can do. One of the sexiest four letter words that a woman can speak is W.A.N.T.

This is how men fall in love.